~*~Battle on the Beach~*~

[yaris2k1]

Go easy on me...im not the best at fanfics and what not:

Battle on the Beach

*Bright sunny day on Crimson Beach, Wingulls flying all around and the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. A trainer named Sirk, just starting his journey, has found himself on Crimson Beach.*

"Hey Spheal come check out the scenery! It's really nice here!"Sirk shouted, running to the near beach, a small Seal-like Pokémon following his tracks.

"Spheal,spheal!" said the little clapping pokemon with extreme glee.

"Heheheh ;D...WATER FIGHT!!" Sirk jumped into the water and began to splash Spheal only to be Water Gunned a moment later. "WOAH !Go easy on me buddy"

All of a sudden Spheal stopped. It had heard something near by.

"What is it,Spheal? " asked Sirk like a confused school boy. Spheal did nothing but stare at the beach/water*. Spheal had sensed something coming...but what? There was nothing but barren beach/calm waters*.

It was apparent to the duo that the "monster" would not show itself, or so they thought. "Hey!Maybe it's a Pokemon, Spheal! I hope so...then we could have our first battle and possibly our first ally, but.." Sirk paused, "but what if...it's too powerful...I don't want you to get hurt Spheal."

There was a burst of sand/water*, Sirk and his Spheal grew tense, knowing their foe would soon make itself know. Once the sand/water* cleared the "monster" was reveiled, proving to be a Pokemon, and, to be exact, it was a

*=depends on outcome of Pokemon
I know but i like smilies ;D

[Ben & Flannery]

It was a small, tricky Corphish. It jumped out of the sand and stared at the two.

(Corphish/M/Shell Armor)

(Your story was good but the main problem was a lack of spaces after commas, periods etc. I edited for you this time so you could see what I meant. Please continue )

[yaris2k1]

i see it all know....my Advanced ELA teacher says i need to edit more carefully

"What the?" It was a little crab Pokemon that Sirk had never seen before, but, like his father before him, was curious about every aspect of the little Pokemon. Sirk took out his Pokedex and scanned the crab-like Pokemon.
"A Corphish eh? HA! A ruffian Pokemon!? That minuscule creature?" as Sirk spoke Spheal aproached the Corphish slowly,but steadily.
"SSSPPPPHHHEEEEAAALLLL!!" Spheal cried out as if it had gotten it's flipper caught in a bear trap.Sirk turned around in horror only to find Corphish rushing toward him,Spheal in the background tail red as a strawberry.
"Oh boy this will hurt!" Corphish slammed into Sirk,knocking him back a few feet.

"So it's a battle you want,eh?Spheal," Sirk said over his shoulder to his ball-like buddy,"you ready?"Spheal nodded and rolled in front of it's trainer.
"Okay Spheal...we're goin' to win this one! Use a Water Gun attack!"
It hit Corphish,but it was shaken off with ease,the attack had barely done anything.Corphish retaliated with it's most devistating attack,Crab Hammer.Corphish went after Spheal with the agility of an athlete runner,hitting Spheal and nearly KOing it.
"Spheal," Sirk said,"are you okay!?"
Spheal nodded once again, signaling Sirk to give Spheal his next command.
"Okay, use your new TM, Earthquake!"This time,Corphish wasn't able to take the hit, nor dodge it, instead, Corphish took the full force of the attack! Sirk felt it was time,he threw a Pokeball at it.It rocked once,twice,three times, and then

[Ben & Flannery]

Corphish: BARELY CAPTURED

(I'm gonna let most people catch their first Pokémon but I expect a better story next time. You still had a couple of grammar errors but it wasn't too bad. Please try to add more plot next time.)

[yaris2k1]

I was going through other capture posts and i found out how mine lacked detail,battle sequence discriptions etc. ill need to practice a while