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Post by Latias10 on Apr 2, 2004 7:01:30 GMT -5
I Latias10 waked along the rocky path with my friend Corpish by my side. I was hoping for a fire pokemon but any pokemon would do. Corpish was realy enjoying herself. She splashed every thing in site. I wondered if the little pokemon would ever stop.
It was late affternoon by now so the sun beamed down on us. Corpish fell to the ground from the heat so I picked her up. I was starting to wonder if I would see any pokemon at all.
I did not see any pokemon but I saw a big shady tree it was odd to see a tree in this area, but who cares. Corpish and I sat under the tree. Sundly dark shadows apered from the tree. I gues it was the home of pokemon and they did not like introders. I picked up Corpish and ran for my life.
I then saw a Volcano it looked dangrous but I sill ran up it. When I was at the top I looked down. Luckly none of the pokemon had fallowed me. Corpish and I looked down at the lava. Then Corpish squrted the lava with bubles and out poped an angry.............
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Post by Ben & Flannery on Apr 2, 2004 10:35:14 GMT -5
(not a bad first stroy but please read over and try to edit a little bit, there were many spelling/grammar mistakes. Mostly you just need to add a space after periods and fix a couple spelling mistakes like Folcano, did you mean Volcano? If this is the best you can do I will not penialize you because writing can be hard.)
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Post by Latias10 on Apr 2, 2004 15:16:31 GMT -5
I edited the mistakes I saw. When I first wrote it I was in a rush so I did not read over it. Next time I will read over it right away.
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Post by Ben & Flannery on Apr 2, 2004 16:21:46 GMT -5
Cyndaquil/F/Blaze
It popped out and was not happy about the unwanted shower.
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Post by Latias10 on Apr 2, 2004 19:44:03 GMT -5
Cool a fire pokemon I thought. Cyndaquil did not think it was cool and blasted us with flamethrowers. I ran down the volcano and thought it should be easyer to battle it here. Then Cyndaquil blasted Corphish with a swift attack.
I had never seen Corphish so angry. It jumped out of my arms and blasted Cyndaquil with some bubles. Cyndaquil easaly doged this and dicided to send out a smoke screan. Corpish and I coghted. I just hoped that Cyndaquil would not run away.
I looked around the smoke was gone and Cyndaquil. I looked at the ground sadly because I had lost my first pokemon. Corphish began to tug at my pants and I said "not now Corphoish." When Corphish kept on tugging I looked up and saw Cyndaquil.
My mood had just changed. I piked up Corphish and ran after Cyndaquil. "Hey Corphish do you know any way of slowing down Cyndaquil?" I acked my little buddy. Corphish thought and then squrted Cyndaquil with some bubbles.
It worked Cyndauil had stoped but still wanted to battle. Corphish dicided to take the chalang. Cyndaquil used a Quick Attack whille Corphish tried to hit it with a Bubble attack. When Cyndaquil atacked Corphish with a Quick attack Corphish wacked it with a Crabhamer. Cyndaquil was daised so it was a perfect time to throw a pokeball. I toke out a pokeball and threw it at Cyndaquil. Suddenly it came back to life and blasted the pokeball with a swift attack.
"No" I said as the pokeball fell to the ground. When Corphish saw me so sad it wanted to chear me up so it ran up to the pokeball and hit it with a Crabhammer. The pokeball hit Cyndaquil and it went inside it. I was so happy. I thanked Corphish as we watched the pokeball sway back and forth.
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Post by Ben & Flannery on Apr 3, 2004 17:32:38 GMT -5
Cyndaquil: BARELY CAPTURED
(Although some of the spelling and grammar weren't the best it looks like you edited it and tryed pretty hard. Next time though please add more of a plot to your story instead of the simple, find, battle, catch method.)
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